Your tits are I can't wait for
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
