i barfeds in our rink
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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