you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
