just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
