I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
