Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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