Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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