Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
