he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
As shirtless as possible
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
