Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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