Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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