you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
