I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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