the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
