Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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