ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
this is an emotional support booty call
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
