We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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