Whod you bang
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize