So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she smelled like a LAN party
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
