i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
