1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize