Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize