I am spending my child support on dildos
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I think your dad took our porno
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize