come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
