Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
