Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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