a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize