i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
