it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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