Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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