I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
