I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
