Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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