i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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