Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize