Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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