call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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