Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
