i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
