D3 body, D1 cock
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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