i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
