This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
