lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
