so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize