Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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