Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
