this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
