We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
