I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
