i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
