you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
