You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
