dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
