Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
