Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
