I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
is it fun? or sober?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
