I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
