Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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