yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
