I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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