You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
