No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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