I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
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