I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I am one with the molecules
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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